I've never been paddle boarding. But I've watched Jane Todd and Kayla do it plenty of times. I'm too lazy to put the kayak rack back on the car so I ask if I can go paddle boarding with Jane Todd rather than kayaking. No body sees why not.
The two of us drive over to the yacht club in the morning to pick them up. Jane Todd grabs the key to the shed while I slip a blanket on to the top of the car. I help her move boxes of styrofoam cups out of the way and then we heave the beasts out of the small room. The boards rest on the car with the fins sticking up towards the sky.
It's the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. Once I slide onto mine and drift out into the water, I immediately start taking on water, I'm wobbling over to each side just enough to feel like I'm going to flip, and no matter how I paddle I start turning 180º. I'm uncomfortable but I know that if I try to adjust myself this board will be bottoms up. I look at Jane Todd. She makes it look so easy. She's jumping around, cruising farther away from me by the second.
"Jane Todd!" I cry out, "How do I make it work!"
She looks at me and laughs, "Well, for starters, you're on it backwards."
I look down at my feet and back at her, "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."
Very cautiously, I turn myself around and start paddling.
It's a miracle! I'm flying! Okay, not really, but it's so much easier. The fin is in the back and I can do it!
Okay this is still the hardest thing I've ever done. We've gone a mile and I have gained zero confidence. Maybe I can stand.. Nope. That was a terrible idea. I'll just sit. No! I can do better than that! I'll just sit on my knees. That's basically the same thing as standing, right? Right.
Jane Todd is no where in sight. Wait, I think here mousey call.. "Jillianne?"
"I'm here!"
"Where?" she calls.
Jane Todd there's only one way you can go. I'll give you three guesses on where I am.
"Marco!" I scream.
A pause, "POLOOOO!"
I see her turning around the corner to join me as I struggle.
"How can you do this so easily?" I ask softly.
She smiles, "How can you kayak so easily?"
"I mean, I do it a lot."
"Exactly," she motions her hand over her board, "I feel the same."
We're coming up on Alligator Alley. I made it under the bridge with no problem and I'm improving my steering. Things are good.
All of sudden, I hear a hiss coming through the grassy swamps that are on our right. It sounds like a rustling, something is in there? I'm watching, sitting as still as I ever have in my life. Jane Todd's eyes are glued, my eyes are glued.. Fifteen feet in front of us, a full-grown, 7-foot, mama gator makes her way out of the grass and slinks into the water..right..in..front..of us.
Jane Todd looks and me and lets out a mix of a bloody murder cry and a laugh.
I smile meekly and say, "Well, we have to go that way, so. Let's just keep paddling."
I take the lead, paddling with the shallowest strokes this world has ever seen. I hadn't known fear until that moment. The idea of gliding directly over an alligator with my only protection being a 3-inch thick flat board of foam is an idea I hope none of you are ever presented with.
So we're cruising along. We've been out here for maybe three days? Kidding, three hours. And I'm killing it. I actually passed Jane Todd. Now she's way behind me screaming, "Wait!"
We arrive at the mouth of the Bay, the sun is warm, surprise surprise, Jane Todd is taking selfies and I'm not. We strip down to our bikinis and just lie on the boards, letting the current pull us wherever we need to go. As I'm relaxing, two pelicans fly over me. I wonder if maybe they are a couple, or if they are siblings, or maybe they're just two friends. Maybe the two of them are thinking the same thing about Jane Todd and me, "Look at those two humans, they have no idea what they're missing down there." I also start to think about how pelicans were no where to be seen when my mom was my age. She grew up in this area and she claims that the earth was being filled with these toxic chemicals that eventually drained out into the waters and began killing off all of these birds. Over time, the majestic pelican has made its return and now whenever my mom sees one, she squeals with happiness and says, "Look at that beautiful creature."
On our way back, we paddle by a house undergoing construction. The scene is filled with construction workers and they all smile and tip their heads as we glide by. One calls out to me, "Take me with you!" The others laugh but I smile and say, "I wish I could." Jane Todd gives me a grin, and I look onward as I follow the direction of another pelican flying overhead.
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