Thursday, January 15, 2015

Mom

   It's 12 o'clock on a hot June day.  I'm reading, Mom is somewhere doing something, and for some reason, I think it's a good idea to go kayaking right now.  Looking back now, mistakes were made.  Mom being the compliant person she is, says she would love to go kayaking.  So we load everything up, tell my sister we'll be back in a little bit, down ourselves in bug spray, and that's it.
   When we pull up to the drop off, small waves are sloshing against it.  I don't know why I was surprised, anyone would know that if you go to the water in the middle of the day, the tide will be on the move.  But we went out anyway.
   Once we get away from the house and out into the bigger part of the bayou, it immediately starts to feel like we are kayaking on a treadmill.  It doesn't help that Mom has the old broken paddle that doesn't stay together on its own.  She yells out, "Jillianne, what part of this is enjoyable?"  The burn starts to come over us.  Even I start to complain a bit.  Here we are, paddling as fast as our bodies can paddle, and yet we're going nowhere.  It's not like the other times I've gone when we could just mosey along and make it in excellent time.  No, now we have to exert every once of strength we have just to travel three feet.
   After a while Mom says, "Man, if we did this everyday, we'd have Susan Lucci arms in no time."  I laugh and agree but make a point that we will never kayak during this time ever again.
   We make a dash to Alligator Alley and she shrieks, "NO! Sweetie, I don't want you kayaking through this ever again! This place filled with gators.  Look at this water! No no no.  I can't believe we're going this way."  I try to calm her down by telling her to look up at the beautiful canopy of trees, but moms will be moms.
   We get to a point where we're ready to turn around, but when we do, a wicked thing happens..
   One would think that the moment we turned around we would go extra fast because the current would be pushing us along.  But no, it was as if the moment we turned around, the tide did as well.  Going back was not any easier than before.  It was just as horrific.  I'm apologizing to Mom the entire way, but she's done complaining.  She's just trying her best to hold the paddle together while booking it back to the house.  Not many words were said, there was just the sound of heavy breathing and the waves colliding with the kayaks.
   I know I ruined the idea of kayaking for my mother.  But once the horrible memories of that trip fade away, we'll head back out, in the evening, and kayaking's perfect reputation will be redeemed.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Toe-Pro

   It's New Years Day, about 50 so degrees outside, and I'm sitting at my dining room table with my 2015 glasses (which I bought at Walmart along with a life vest.  The ingredients for a good time, I know) on while eating a BLT.  My shoulders are sore, there's a lump on my shin, and I'm tired.


   "Bella! Do you want to go kayaking?" I ask.
   "Sure," she responds happily.
   "You can be on my blog!"
   "Ooh la la, really?"
   "Of course!"
   "Well, we'd have to do something awesome.  Something that those Czech Republicans will remember!"
 
   We return from Walmart, glasses and vest in hand.  I grab our waters, throw the vests and paddles in the back, and I give Bella a lesson on how to strap a kayak to a Volvo.  On the way to Mallini's I apologize in advance for paddling too fast or not taking enough breaks or anything else that previous kayak companions had complained about.  I tell her how much I want to see an alligator again and ask if she knows when alligator feeding time is? She said she didn't.  Bummer.
   We pull up to the house and it's odd, but Bella was actually the first person who didn't ask, "Do you know these people?"  Not a peep from her, totally on board.
   Follow the routine: kayaks off, life vests on, paddles together, water closed, car locked.

   "This water is so still," Bella calls to me.
   "I know.. Where's an alligator?"
   I pull closer to the edge of the water to look for crabs or snakes, but alas, none to be found.  The bridge is approaching and I tell Bella to duck and stay as straight as she can.  I make it under with no issue.  I'm heading for the second bridge when I hear a loud thud followed by, "Ugh!"  I turn around and see Bella stuck between the legs of the bridge.
   "Sorry," she laughs.
   I smile, "All good, just go backwards."

   We make it out of Alligator Alley alive and without seeing a gator. I tell Bella to head for the opening ahead and we make a break for it.  Soon enough, the waters get choppy and the waves splash my pants.  Stay aggressive.  Make it around the rocks and everything calms down.  No problem.  Seagulls and pelicans sit along the sidelines cocking their heads from side to side in mockery.

   We're on our way back to the drop off, Bella's in front of me and I snap a picture of her.  A picture isn't enough.  All I want is a video.  I'm thinking, I'm thinking.  I don't want to stop and video everything, that's boring and it's been done before.  I think about holding my phone with my chin but that would be uncomfortable and it would fall constantly.  *Light bulb*  I grab my phone, press record, and put in my Chaco, my toes holding it.  I stretch my legs out to where they normally are, and paddle onward.  I'm brilliant.
   I start to pass Bella and say, "Look Bella, I made a Go-Pro."
   She turns her head and bursts out laughing, "Oh my gosh, stop, I have to take a picture!"

   We return home from our adventure.  I walk in the house with my leg throbbing from the kayak crashing into my shin when we took them off the car.  Bella shows her mom, Rene, the picture of my genius homemade Go-Pro.  She laughs and says, "Toe-Pro."




   I want to thank everyone who let #backontheyak be a part of their lives in 2014, and I look forward to 2015 bringing many more.  This past year brought many challenges, some of which were included in this blog, but it also brought many blessings.  So keep smiling and I hope 2015 brings you all more happiness and contentment than you thought possible.

Thank you and Happy Holidays -           
Jillianne